Archive for October, 2007
October 6, 2007 - 11:08 am - Posted by Galina
Gerry bended over me – his face in dim lights of café looking crimson, breathing out steams of five big beers he had gulped one after the other.
We were sitting in one of Graz oldest bars Barcelona during its “blue” evening, and in perspective I could observe three male couples flirting. Jerry was 52 years old teacher of English, who moved from UK to Austria many years ago and circulated in Tramino and other hot spots of Graz night life.
Gerry was the person easy to talk with, and even being deeply intoxicated he never criticized anybody. Trying to catch next thought, he was swinging from side to side and his long ash grey hair were waving like washed out ban of underground life and addiction.
-Look, Gali…I have not told you anything, but please, be careful with them.
He hiccupped and added: - By the way, do you know where Graz Aids help desk is?
Then Wolfgang appeared, and afterwards – Herbert.
Both of them were of dark-red political views. In spite of that Wolfgang always looked pale. Herbert looked reddish and jovial.
Two-three times trying to maintain contacts or find help in Graz I applied to Herbert’s office, and he was always affable. But never really helpful.
All of us started to chat. I addressed Herbert and assumed that he understood feelings of women better than straight men, because he used to play in intimate relationships similar role.
He affirmed and laughed, then got up to demonstrate us his figure and his ass covered by fit jeans. There was nothing particular about this ass except of buttocks being a little bit more curvy than usual. When talking to men like that you involuntary drop eyes to his ass as working instrument of his connections.
Then Herbert came back to agenda of his communist career and told he started his one being babysitter in family of Communist party chef Ernest Kaltenegger. He took care of his young son.
Pronouncing that phrase Herbert smiled sweetly, willing or not willing to give additional meaning to point.
Jazz played loud. Two young men in far corner tried to dance embracing each other, both looked unsteady – may be tipsy or on drugs.
I withdrew myself and flew faraway in space and time in eternal labyrinth of my memory. Young enthusiastic journalist I was walking again along dark streets of post-perestroika St.Petersburg, where were rats, homeless dogs and tribes of homeless children who spent nights in half-ruined buildings of old city
Long lines of people were standing outside of bakeries and kiosks with vodka. When supply was out people waited one hour and two, beating themselves cross hand on hips and shoulders to make it warmer.
What does it mean to be communist or not to be one? What is the difference, and who cares about this difference at all?
I dare say I have seen PRIMARY SOVIET COMMINISTS. There was ignorance and narrow-mindedness. There was hatred for capitalism. There was ideological absurdity.
There was suppression of individuality and pursue of dissidence.
But there was also almost never broken codec of honor.
And one example of baby-sitting like that could ruin all crystal clean communist career.
Once I talked to Elke Kahr – one of the prominent activists of communist movement in Graz, and she told:
“Do you know what western democracy is? Everybody can write and say what he thinks,
and nobody really cares what.”
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October 3, 2007 - 5:22 pm - Posted by Galina
Today I got up late after sleepless night and coming to mirror
was suddenly struck by view of middle-aged woman with grey, almost white hair who was staring back at me
The shortest way to survive is to satisfy somebody’s needs
I tried to advertise as photographer in classified but didn’t get even one reply
Life is like lottery, you never know when you will win.
After a few hours of doubts and walks to kitchen and back,
I created such advertisement in German for local classifieds:
Mature model
Mature photo model with large experience looks for new assignments.
I would gladly work with any hobby or professional photographer at honorarium and
contract basis, expecting minimum 50 Euros per hour. Good photo is our mutual goal, and
not having body contact with photographer is the rule. When you are interested, please write me!
Ad was accompanied by portfolio of 4 photos.
Today I started to get replies. I will summaries for those who do not speak German.
Photographers, or those who consider themselves to be ones, ask me about my pubic hair and offer to make photos nude with the legs apart at the top of their motorcycles.
I came back to bathroom and told to sad grey-haired woman:
“You were born in country of high mountings, isn’t it, and you remember how to ascend steep high slopes? Step by step. You must concentrate all your mind at making next step and don’t look in abyss!”
Anzeigen-Titel: Reife Modell
Anfrage von: daniel
Würde ein modell mit erfahrung für aktaufnahme suchen. bin hobbyfotograf und wäre daher auch für etwas unterstützung von dir sehr dankbar…
ich würde gerne \”natürlichen\” akt probieren, d.h. wenn du nicht ganz rasiert wärst wäre es toll.
so, falls du interesse hast würde ich mich über eine mail von dir freuen!!
lg daniel
Anfrage von: Alex
Hallo,
bin ein Hobbyfotograf auf NÖ und hätte Interesse an einem Shooting. Meine Vorstellung: Fotos mit meinem Motorrad im Freien. Von \”Bekleidet\” bis \”Akt\”.
Frage: in welchem Bundesland bist Du zu Hause?
LG, Alex
PS: die Fotos sind ein reines Privatvergnügen, werden weder hergezeigt noch ins Internet gestellt. Ein CD mit den Fotos bekommst Du allerdings - wenn Du willst.
Anfrage von: Hans
Ich bin ein 32-jähriger Hobbyfotograf mit sportlicher Figur und habe großes Interesse dich für private Zwecke zu fotografieren. Interessant wäre für mich der Bereich Akt bis Erotik und eventuell je nach Wetter auch Outdoor. Bei Interesse bitte um Rückmeldung mit Honorarvorstellung und eventuell der Telefonnummer zur weiteren Kontaktaufnahme.
lg Hans
Anfrage von: Rob
hallo,
ich würde mich sehr für ein dezentes vollakt shooting mit dit interessieren, viell sogar schon morgen?
bitte melde dich einfach rasch bei mir!
lg rob
Anfrage von: gerold
Ich bin Maler und Bildhauer und suche noch Modelle für meine Arbeiten im Bereich Akt.
Wenn du Interesse hast sreib mir oder ruf mich an.
Infos zu mir oder meinen Arbeiten findest du auf meiner HP www.21-art.at
Honorar pro stunde sind 15.-?
halli hallo!
ja,ich hätte interesse an einem tollen shooting in den
verschiedensten strumpfhosen (habe ich genügend zu
hause!)
ich würde gerne 1 std. shooting mit dir machen!
bin im 4.bez. zu hause und ich würde mich freuen wenn
du vielleicht sonntag nachmittag so 14h. zeit hättest?
kannst mich auch gerne anrufen!
lg.gerhard
Hallo Gali,
Würde mich wirklich freuen, mit dir mal shooten
zu können. Dein Ausdruck auf den Bildern ist wirklich einzigartig 
Ich betreibe die Fotografie als Hobby neben meinem Job und habe ein
eigenes Studio hier in Wien. Ich schick dir mal ein paar Bilder von
mir mit, sodass du auch einen Eindruck hast. Gerne können wir dann ein
Shooting planen.
Lg, Joe
Posted in Gesellschaft | No Comments »
October 3, 2007 - 12:13 pm - Posted by Galina
If intellectual and physical potential of humans is endless, so is potential to feel. Normal life hardly gives opportunity to use this potential in full strength.
But everybody knows in his heart he could experience more intensive, pure and strong feelings, and everybody dreams about true love.
We all have relationships with which are never completely satisfied. We drag these relationships on like inevitable bonds.
We would persuade ourselves that we love those close to us but there are always dark streams of doubt in enormous depth of our heart. If it is love, why we are unhappy? Even proclaiming that we care for others, we have complicated and contradiction feelings, which we never reveal.
Did you notice that you can never be fond of somebody completely? You feel blissful completeness and admiration only when you stay in significant distance from one of your adore. Whenever you make step closer - inevitable blemishes come into sight. You tend to like some segments and dislike others. When you come up closer and closer, feeling of inner rejection and resistance increase. Being too close we can not admire at all, moreover feelings of critics, despise and cold indifference come to surface and poison us. Eventually you want to free yourself and find new object of adoration. Process repeats.
Too close relationships are really ruinous for intimate friendship.
I recollect in my memory face of the first Austrian man with whom I was in love.
I liked every curve of his face and figure, smell of his body, his movements, and sound of his voice.
When I saw him my heart leaped up in my chest.
But strong feelings had quality to change quickly and transit to their opposites.
Concentration camps are pure innocence comparing to cruelty that beloved monsters demonstrate to each other.
Not once I begged him for help and complained I had no normal food for days. I asked him: was it only way to survive for me in this country going to local brothel at piece of meat for drunken styrian men? He replied probably it was.
He didn’t care. He didn’t care if I would disappear, marry, win million in lottery or burn myself in front of Rathaus protesting against discriminative emigrant politics.
It is impossible to touch a heart of man unless you don’t offer him ever lying body of yours with moist hole between legs.
Once he was in love with me. Once I loved him and then experienced metamorphoses of ruinous hatred.
Stand clear of love.
Do you know what…try to be friend.
Posted in About | No Comments »
October 1, 2007 - 10:54 am - Posted by Galina
I have never met photographer who would not consider himself to be genial.
Most of them including those who photograph only for home archives - regard them to be unsurpassed specialists in photography and also consider others species with cameras to be ridiculous. Whenever I meet with next hobby photographer he hurries to give me advice how I can improve my severely neglected technique and repair personal vision.
Strange thing is we all feel ourselves to be bright, but others see us as dull.
I gladly take in consideration any advice.
But then I come back to my Self.
Sometimes struggling through feeling of desperation I ask myself, what I would do just now, if I knew that exactly in one month I would start for long journey?
I could ask myself: what I would do if I know in one month I would die?
But dying and death is connected with pain, disaster, illness, fear and loss in our imagination. To avoid painful associations I mind only journey - full of new mysteries and discoveries.
What I would do today and to whom I would talk, if I know I would depart soon?
I would give up all struggles and attempts to survive.
I would never go to any social institution seeking protection and help.
All institutions including charity and social help organizations are minded to support hierarchy structure of society first of all.
I would not ask anybody of my former lovers to help me.
Forced and begged help has no spiritual value; you can not get any help if it was not initiated by giver.
I would feel myself absolutely happy and free to do what I was designed by nature to do.
Duck floats on surface of lake.
Bird flies.
Horse runs in the field.
Everything what we are designed by God to do comes to us without struggle and exaggerated effort.
Knowing that she will leave in one month - Galina would think.
Then she would write and make photographs.
Then she would buy big wok, cook pilaf with spices and invite everybody to try it.
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