Concept of this article belongs to genuine Galina’s ideas intellectual store, which excludes imitations or copying of others, even if they are great thinkers of the past.
Johann Nepomuk Geiger was a Viennese artist (1805-1880), who, apart from his erotic illustrations, used to make oil paintings for the Austrian Royal Family.
The early-twentieth-century Viennese satirist, Karl Kraus, remarked once that one may meet a better class of intimate partner only in masturbatory fantasy. The evidence accumulated by surveys suggests that over 90% of men and 50% of women masturbate regularly or masturbated some time during their lives. Reading or viewing pornography, or sexual fantasy – are common accompaniments of masturbation. Masturbation activities are often ritualized, and various fetishes can play a part in a ritual.
Talking about mechanisms of masturbation in general terms can bring me too far. Masturbation as global act of self-indulgence better than anything else manifests truth that all we perceive and do is individually determined. (more…)

Galina presents here her interpretation of gender differences in Austria

As great part of my life I lived among multi-language folks (including national minorities in Kyrgyzstan), my ability to catch the meaning at non-verbal level developed to degree of intuition that small children and domestic animals have from the start. Analyzing my communications, I noticed that while small part of me followed the words, other part was busy observing not what people said, but how they did it, registering slight changes in mimic and tone.
Kids see aura of people and feel their emotional vibrations – this electromagnetic nimbus around head, which for many may occur imperceptible, but glimpse of which anyone can catch if looking somebody straight in the eye or at space between eyes longer than usual, as children often do.
In Austrian emigration my tendency to judge by voice and emanations developed extremely. Sometimes my moods were euphoric or sank down only because somebody looked at me in the wrong way. (more…)

Galina writes about her adventures with Wohnbeihilfe (accommodation social help) and Austrian post-office.
Do you know somebody never making mistakes? It must be specie of artificial intellect. Humans simply need to miss a target now and then to guarantee one accurate shot.
I don’t claim to be possessor of absolute truth. Like any other mortal, I make wrong judgments on certain occasions in my search for true fact. I may be completely in the power of ego sometimes, feeling the world developed personal grudges against me.
But then change of tide brings ability for detached view and main condition for objectivity – inner piece. Unhappy people tend to be subjective and make those around them unhappy too. Those who steadily accumulate unhappiness: poor, sick, outcasts, drug-users, illegal immigrants, persons in refugee camps and prisoners – accumulate also enormous destructive force to strike back, subjected to uncontrollable aggression, which affects innocent people. Society must care more about deprived and downtrodden to improve general psychological climate and prevent murder, rape, robbing, domestic violence and suicide.
As I also witness certain deprivation, I started to use instinctively such instrument of defense as word to restore my equilibrium between good and evil. This instrument contains huge destructive and creative potential, in spite of mask of Internet gibberish it carries.
I always tried and would use every my word with consideration. (more…)

Journalists belong to special caste. Whoever starts on this thorny way, rarely change profession. The reason is simple: they are forced to proceed. Staff manager of any company apart from PR and news agencies, looking through professional history of applicant, may be alarmed by facts of his intimate affairs with mass media. Such a reputation considered to be seriously compromised. Every company and institution has something to conceal from public view. Many organizations dread of journalists, who demonstrate: first- certain level of literacy, and second- ability to prostitute this literacy, if something goes wrong. And in company sooner or later something always goes wrong. Therefore journalist, who wants to start new profession, must break wall of distrust toward person capable of collecting information and selling it. For mass media professionals there is no way back, as there is no way back for agents employed by a state to obtain secret information or individuals with serious criminal record. The journalism is as ancient as bodily prostitution, and has much in common with it.
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Nothing is more tormenting than longevity of empty days, for me and, I guess,  crucial for my future as author, many a time I found myself weeping in the cold kitchen feeling helpless, after pacing the room for hours, weeping because I could not easily express myself – in English. I registered then, that my inner verbal processes, especially during peak experiences, went on in Russian, though for a number of years I tried to bring myself into other language dimensions, excluding almost all information in my mother tongue from outer world: internet, live communications and books, that were too seductive to borrow and so easy to read – to devour one volume per day. Tension in expressing myself in foreign language exists in subtle forms and may cause deviations in meaning of what I am writing about, easiness of finding true words is especially important in writing a nonfiction book. Yesterday I felt myself completely defeated, knowing that my command of foreign language would probably never reach sufficient degree of flexibility. (more…)

Galina, don’t be skeptical about your wishes and dreams! They are like seeds thrown in soil and waiting for time to sprout and blossom.
Thus I cheered myself up going along one of Vienna streets, and gusts of cold wind threw raindrops in my face. As alien I peeped in luminous shop windows, observing Christmas candles and  people in their purchase amok. For me – solo as I was, Christmas meant only a few additional days of aggravated solitude.
I didn’t manage well, besides arrival of accommodation welfare was delayed for two months. So the very idea of buying Christmas presents sounded improper, when two-digit figure of my recent bank report swirled in my mind as epitome of all I possessed and achieved after years of struggle in Austria.
At last I entered bakery to warm myself up, and as middle-aged sales woman glanced at me questioningly, I felt obliged to buy the cake and registered automatically miscount in 40 cents.
I walked for ages, and now it was middle of nowhere. The buzz of traffic subsided, and road widened in avenue of poplars and mansions, running forward to rural districts.
One could see around small picturesque gardens, lawns with statues and fountains. Some houses were richly decorated with clay molding and wood carvings. (more…)

Whatever they do, average Europeans talk about prices and life costs, and since I live in Austria, I never met a person, who complaining about personal financial predicaments, would not mention option of playing lotto and wining a million, as if mathematical likelihood of event equated not to its magical probability.
But how about idea that our very arrival in this world is occurrence of immeasurably greater randomness, than chance to win a million in lotto?
If conception took place 5 minutes later, fertilized cell would get other set of qualities and form other personality, not speaking already that conception could fail. But even if miracle of merge succeed, potential mother can make abortion later.
Once in crisp and frosty Moscow winter, working over my journalist projects, I was suddenly abashed by doctor, who during routine check discovered cyst in the right side of my body and suggested surgical intrude. I packed toothbrush and slippers, and found myself in the gynecologic ward of publishing center hospital – with five other women, who waited for their turn in tight schedule of medical abortion machine.
We all left our most acute fears at the porch of hospital, and once being accepted in room with beds and night tables standing in the row, we were ready to surrender. It was not expression of fear, but infinite patience  and readiness to subdue physical pain, together with guilt and shame, I observed at the faces around me. (more…)

As I am quick reader and frequent visitor of Thalia bookshop, I often experience choice problems in front of shelve with non-fiction books in English there. It seems, most prominent motivation and inspirational American authors market their creativity so well, that my buyer capabilities stand in direct proportion to sacred knowledge I can attain from these gurus. Often book bought here, its price extracted from provision sustenance, had diminished or repetitive content and extra quantity of illustrations or empty sheets. Whatever contemporary spiritual teachers write in their books inspiring us to free ourselves of materialistic attitudes and vanity, book industry, representing them and many other authors, demonstrates opposite, non-spiritual and profit-orientated approach.
I felt increasing interest toward Austrian authors and book events that took part in Austria.

Yesterday I was just roaming through two books – novel of Austrian Nobel Prize winner Elfriede Jelinek, where it was hard to follow main idea due to odd amount of metaphoric curls and  through non-fiction book of John Leake about Vienna serial killer, when I suddenly got call from my old Graz acquaintance, who in his shopping ramble occurred to be not far away and asked me to meet him for a talk.
In spite of time deficit, I urge myself to be sympathetic toward person, who probably felt himself lonely in big city. (more…)