Young female beggar in one of Vienna streets listening to arguments of older woman who suddenly stopped to express her opinion on beggary.

For the first time in my life, I was brought at the place against my will and kept there shut. I felt shaken and thought it must be mistake and soon they would let me go.

At the same time, I knew in my heart that the world where I lived before would never be the same again. On incomprehensible reasons, I became outcast, object of persecution; I broke certain rules and revealed my alien nature to others. I failed to act in reality that all others people except of me shared. So albino crow in flock of black birds is hit by beaks of others till it is dead. I had feeling that all others shared knowledge I had no access to.

Many years would pass until I realize that everybody creates his own truth, and common reality for all does not exist. I would realize that unanimity and group thinking point out to higher levels of compromise only and also ability to float at surface of interactions without digging deep inside Feeling of being fatally unique and isolated was destructive and overwhelming illusion of my youth. I was subservient and quiet girl, brought up in family of five children as youngest, accustomed to respect older and rely on their wisdom. (more…)

Chancellor Gusenbauer canceled summer party

I am not in the mood to celebrate,- said Alfred Gusenbauer. He had canceled his traditional summer party. All of the invitations were forwarded, but Gusenbaeur changed his mind. Last year this event was a full success. One year later the situation is totally different. Gusenbauer seems to be at the low point of his political career. The party comrades are discussing his overthrow. The Socialdemocratic party in Austria is in a big crisis, and their chancellor got the blame for it. Gusenbauer cannot hide his anger and disappointment about this situation. This makes it impossible for him to host a fancy celebration, and smile into cameras. (more…)

Feeling distantly curious about the car, I had no any thought it could concern me. However, my eyes were fixed at the fire escape staircase leading on the roof of the building. I regretted being disobedient to Red Mistress. Moreover, my instincts told me I was in danger after talk with her.
Struggling with imperative to escape, I asked myself:
- What I am afraid of? Did I damage school property, steel money from the common safe or did I murder, harm or gave public insult to somebody? Why I must run and crawl like beast, seized with panic, if I know I am pure and innocent?
Three men in white gowns who appeared at the doors to interrupt my inner dispute. And without further explanations one of them – with sleeves turned up high above massive black-haired arms- told I must attend sort of psychological consultation instantly and drive there in ambulance car. The air this hospital attendant had did not give chance to resist or question. Escorted along corridors and downstairs I felt myself unreal. We crossed the yard, and before door of van closed behind me, I caught glimpse of yak chignon that flashed between curtains in one of school windows.
The car was moving on high speed toward secluded suburban areas of town, passed big park and arrived at barbwire-fenced territory. (more…)

Photo was made during one of manifestations in center of Vienna. The man with the dog has inscription at his shirt: “Nothing moves forward without Haider”

According to my private statistics Jörg Haider is the most frequent Google search term after words sex and nudity that direct visitors to my website. When you live in the western country and bring reminiscences about totalitarian society in broad audience you easily gain understanding and support.

Act of critical evaluation suggests unspoken comparison of what was before and what is now. It can sound like compliment in address of western democracy. Everybody would easily imagine that Galina’s soviet life was only abuse and suppression, that she was persecuted as minor progressive thinker, failed to find justice in her righteous struggle and moved to the West, where she found eventually her happy land.
However, not all is that simple (more…)

One flew over Cuckoo’s Nest (Ich flog über’s Kuckucksnest )

When I was 19 years old, I failed entrance examination to the Kyrgyz university.
First exam was English and I passed it very well. Then it came turn of composition. We were to write a few pages on the theme ‘Communism and future of humankind’.
Instead of using cribs with Lenin quotes as many did it, I scribbled down my own precious opinion on the subject and perhaps missed a few commas during this euphoric process.
All was lost. Feeling myself complete failure, I eventually found the place of librarian with minimal salary in the school library. My work for now on was to give out books, to keep catalogs in order and to assist young communists organization with their on-wall designs
After I enthusiastically issued some patriotic drawings, edition of wall newspaper became my must.
Normally I was sitting day long in books repository with red and black ink handy. However, sometimes I was asked to entertain certain class whose headmaster had not emerged at the place. One needed special voice volume capacities to fit that task.
Once amidst my paper work, I received call from direction. There I met face to face with mistress of institution. (more…)

Minister Doris Bures and Werner Faymann (SPOe) with Westbahnhof under reconstruction in background.

I must confess I had sent emails to representatives of all Austrian political parties offering my services as photographer, and Franz Voves – governor of Styria (SPOe) was the only one who replied. Thanks, Franz! When I photographed you, I was fantasizing how it could be to travel together with you in one compartment of Trans-Siberian express. Usually there is rather pleasant vibration in the trains

New Socialist party(SPOe) Chef Werner Faymann

Chancellor Werner Faymann CV

He was born on 4 May of 1960 in Vienna

1985 – 1988 consultant at the central savings bank,
1988 director of the Viennese Tenants’ counseling.
1981 – 1987 provincial chairman of Socialistic Youth Vienna
1985 – 1994 member of the Viennese state parliament and municipal council
1994 executive city councilor for urban renewal,
president of the Viennese Fund for Urban Renewal (WBSF)
and vice president of the Viennese Business Agency (WWFF)

Werner Faymann told: “I never work against somebody, but always in partnership.”

There were hordes of successful soviet ideologues, which made their career imitating fierce creative activity.
But it was not Zhanna case. She belonged to rare type of uncorrupted believers. She was person of sincerity and encyclopedia knowledge, but her eccentricity made her the scarecrow of the university. She expected from students who were fed up with Marx-Engels-Lenin staff and who studied dozens of other subjects, such as languages, world history, literary criticism, psychology and economics, she expected from them equal to hers devotion to material. In spite of all I could not help respect her.
When I was listening to her lectures on French revolution and Trotskyism, I even adored her. It was something enigmatic about this person. Her rapid walk, her gaze, how she used to throw register journal at the table in the other corner of the room, all revealed enormous suppressed force and passion.
I never accentuated her female qualities and could not dwell on idea that under formless dress she possibly had breasts and pubic hair, that as every woman she was vulnerable and perhaps had painful periods, record of aborted pregnancies and wish to be attractive for men. What I liked in her had no gender and no physiology; it was pure fascination of spirit. (more…)