{"id":71,"date":"2021-04-22T01:30:02","date_gmt":"2021-04-21T23:30:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.toktali.com\/blog\/2007\/11\/10\/lolita\/"},"modified":"2021-04-22T01:30:02","modified_gmt":"2021-04-21T23:30:02","slug":"lolita","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.toktali.com\/blog\/lolita\/","title":{"rendered":"Lolita"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"lolita22\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Coming back home in twilight, I see street prostitutes in H\u00fctteldorferstrasse during their evening shift.
\nGirls have extremely minimized professional outfit standing there almost nude in cold rain.
\nSome of them are very young. Trying to catch glimpse of their faces in quickly growing darkness
\nI try to imagine what they feel. I also see men who occasionally stop there in cars. What do they search? During first years of my life in Graz I actively dated.
\nIt was vitally important to start understanding people around. Operating with few German words, I used to talk with men from Graz, Br\u00fcck and Linz- about their lives. Understanding breaks language barriers.
\nBut I could never clearly apprehend what men really search for.
\nIf they tend to value physical component of relationship so high,
\nthen every lass standing by the road could instantly gain full
\npower over their hearts.
\nWe met in dusk smoky
\nspace of Sporgasse cafe. W. was one of my correspondents-55-year old
\nteacher with dark sad eyes.
\nHe gave me impression of being sophisticated, cynical and innocent at the same time.
\nWe talked for two hours and then met again.
\nHe was born in province and after getting education<\/p>\n

married to woman from neighborhood. Union occurred to be unhappy,
\nand after 25-years of mutual ordeal, couple came through destructive divorce.
\nAt the moment of our meeting, teacher was in relationship with 19-year old girl,
\nwith whom he lived together.
\nLooking at the roofs of Graz spreading below us he told:
\n– We sleep in one bed, but we have no intimacy.
\nGloomy luminosity of his eyes told me it was truth.
\nAs he confessed, W. always experienced exaggerated sexual needs,<\/p>\n

and his former wife used his dependency as weapon.<\/p>\n

Eventually she deprived him of sex completely, and it was hard for both: he
\nsuffered from absence of sexual release, and she – from absence of closeness.<\/p>\n

During last years he got only occasional console in brothels.
\nBut then something extraordinary happened to W. He fell in love.<\/p>\n

He fell in love
\nwith 16-year old girl, his pupil.
\nHe could not resist her being so excitingly youthful and nonchalant,<\/p>\n

her provocative bravery made him crazy, after years of depravity,<\/p>\n

humiliation and sexual hunger, he felt suddenly free and sensed
\nthat this 16-years old teenager with fully formed breasts and sensual smile-
\nwas ready to do anything he wanted, flattered by very idea of being in love with teacher.<\/p>\n

Sometimes when sitting in class, he was afraid to stand up and start lesson, because he was visibly aroused.<\/p>\n

Common sense, cautiousness and grip of sudden infatuation struggled in him, and as
\nhe started to meet with her privately in forest,<\/p>\n

where nobody could spy after them, his wisdom gave up to obsession.
\nYoung girl can hardly be preoccupied with goal to satisfy needs of aging teacher unless it gives food to her ambitions.
\nShe talked to her girlfriends, and news about forest meetings reached ears of school master and parents.
\nThe only way for W. to go on after that was to start living together with his girl
\nin officially approved partnership. He moved to the house of girls parents.<\/p>\n

His decent income helped to resolve situation.
\nEvery time I met with W., I sensed he used generous quantities of alcohol to inspire himself through day.
\n-It was mistake, mistake! All my life was mistake!- used W. to say searching with eyes
\nfor waiter who would bring him next cocktail.<\/p>\n

The last time I met W. he was smartly dressed and looked even more gloomy than usual.<\/p>\n

He was to go to his mothers birthday party. O, mama, here is your beloved boy with huge bouquet!<\/p>\n

There was also younger sister and canyon of misunderstanding between relatives.<\/p>\n

Every meting of mother and daughter meant quarrels, shrieks and slamming of doors.<\/p>\n

Sister was touchy. Having good education, one day she lost her work.<\/p>\n

Then her boyfriend escaped and found younger woman.<\/p>\n

She started to drink and became mixed in stories with co-drinkers. That infuriated mother.
\nOnly 83-year-old father supported daughter morally and financially with his pension.
\nThen father suddenly died.
\nA few weeks after his funeral woman disappeared.<\/p>\n

They seek her everywhere. Police, relatives. All private belongings stayed at home, so search dogs were used. There was no trace of her. Only one year later, somebody came against remains of human body in bushes of Sch\u00f6ckl and the woman was identified.<\/p>\n

She came there one day equipped only with bottle of brandy and handful of sleeping pills finding it was impossible to struggle through hell of her life alone.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Coming back home in twilight, I see street prostitutes in H\u00fctteldorferstrasse during their evening shift. Girls have extremely minimized professional outfit standing there almost nude in cold rain. Some of them are very young. Trying to catch glimpse of their faces in quickly growing darkness I try to imagine what they feel. I also see […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":10213,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,417],"tags":[127,1301],"class_list":["post-71","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-graz","category-psychology-of-sexuality","tag-relationships","tag-tremor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.toktali.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/71","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.toktali.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.toktali.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.toktali.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.toktali.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=71"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.toktali.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/71\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.toktali.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10213"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.toktali.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=71"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.toktali.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=71"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.toktali.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=71"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}