Likewise others, I attained normal Soviet school, where among other exotic subjects we studied scientific atheism. In classroom with portrait of Mongolian looking Leader and quotation: Religion is opium for folks- teacher talked about Darwinism and astrophysics mocking over tales of holy world creation. We were busy with history of Christianity, and there was Muslim country outside – with neither veil, nor pray. For us Islam expressed itself only in pork sausages veto and mini skirts decline when elderly relatives paid visit. Already living in Austria, I realized that many non-religious inspiration authors had Christianity based world outlook. Nevertheless, even in most disastrous moments of life when visiting church, I could never cross myself. Childhood images of horned devils with long-handled spoons cooking sinners in big container circulated in my mind.
Once at exhibition in Kunsthaus, decently looking man circa 60 year old assisted me with descriptions of musical instruments I could not fully understand.
Franz knew a lot and demonstrated talkativeness and competence. He had dark eyes, robust physique and red moist lower lip slightly protruding forward as if expecting to consume something sweet.
He invited me to concert of spiritual music.
Strictly following his directions I came to place next week.
When opening the door, I found myself in big light room with dinner table in center. Sound of talks seemed muffled as if reaching ears through water, and by special atmosphere, you could unambiguously judge predominance of women and absence of alcohol drinks. Faces seemed to be covered by layer of unanimity that blurred individual features.
Franz invited me to regular meeting of certain religious sect, in which he participated actively for more than 20 years.
Whenever you start discussion with devoted visitors of such gatherings, they tend to give dogmatic answers to any of your questions, as if cutting themselves off from any independent searches for truth.
I could not come to complete belief by means of mere quotations, being doubtful about everything, including the fact that I was ever born.
Later Franz wanted to show me his collection of musical instruments, and all way
until his house in outskirts of Graz, we talked about God: I would ask about his own opinion, and he would reply me with standard universal quotations from Bible.
It was big wooden house with three bedrooms upstairs and cozy kitchen, where Franz was busy cooking dinner for himself and his two adult sons.
I confessed that browsing through Austrian dating agencies I saw Franz photo.
He admitted the fact he dated and did it especially actively after divorce. During last year he had met with
more than 50 women who searched for partner. What was wrong with all of them? Nothing was wrong.
Franz expressed idea that with age persons tend to be choosy and also rigid about what they want. Only with one of this 50 women he had closeness. It lasted for three months.
His former wife was of 20 younger, and they used to attend the same church.
It was him who normally made all household including cooking and washing, though both partners worked.
Franz played role of father, his good-looking wife – role of capricious daughter.
With time relationship became worse. They used to fall in fierce arguments,
and then didnt talk to each other for weeks. After short period of intimacy and reconciliation, the hostility and struggle aroused again and managed their lives.
During times of cold war with her, Franz felt especially distressed and would sometimes
find his personal belongings like books and instruments damaged.
Once he collapsed in bed and injured foot against thorns
of cactus which somebody put secretly under blanket.
The day came, when common church friends reported that Franz spouse
was seen in company of black man.
Relationship can be over, but jealousy, as strongest emotion, always stays intact.
Franz was tormented by jealousy and shame.
He would lay sleepless all night listening to cracks and noises of his wooden house, and thinking, thinking. He felt helpless to stop bitter flow of thoughts.
He started secret investigation, and discovered that considerable amount of money
was spent by his wife for males cloths. She also bought motorcycle for somebody.
He started to spy after her himself and also used services of private detective. Eventually they divorced.
– It was all about money, – confessed Franz solemnly, and his red lower lip became pale.
Evidence was needed in court to legalize divorce with money loss for partner guilty in adultery.
Franz followed his wife and her Nigerian lover when they came in the fields and hided himself behind the bushes.
When couple finished the game and left, he picked up two condoms with sperm and brought it in the labor.