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_GALI_manet

With my first old Nikon hidden under the jacket that made me look at least 6 month pregnant. I crept in one of multistoried houses (Laufhaeuse) where prostitutes rented working rooms. Though houses looked shabby outside, wooden panels, leather armchairs and thick carpets preserved air of pomposity inside.
Every girl had big poster with nickname, close-up photo and short service description on the door of her cabin. Visitors were to make up their minds looking at these pictures. Pretending to be absorbed by process, I kept eye on the men who appeared in the hall, and could unmistakably judge they were already aroused.
Some of them looked red in face and walked clumsily along the corridor as if salami in trousers suddenly changed its dimensions.
They were excited by very idea of visiting taboo place and by lewd images of their own imagination. Also promise of pleasure in its porno-illustrative form drive them temporary insane.
Like in any other profession, the crucial point in prostitution was specialization and uniqueness of women’s services at the market.
If you earn 10-12 times more of what one could get for cleaning, babysitting and teaching jobs, you sell not only sex, but special types of sex  which one can hardly get free of charge.
Good if client would only cry out:- I want to eat your pussy!or -Pee on me and sit on my face with your cunt!
More often it could be other way round. Plus strangulation, breath and anal orifices penetration, beating, bandaging and what not.
I saw sad irony in fact that at least two brothels were situated in close neighborhood of Volkshaus (folks house), where advanced humanists from KPÖ talked day and night about their achievements in elimination of poverty and discrimination in Steiermark.
Touchingly looking young lads with red stars at their shirts overwhelmed by idea of capitalist injustice  circulated solemnly in Volkshaus.
I would advise them to start building communism within their own soul at first. Soon they would see futility of all efforts. And pass to other forms of idealism.
Coming back to prostitutes, I say I could hardly photograph them.

Not only because supervisor of the house was always on the duty, and every cabin had alarm device, but also because publicity would be very harmful for these women. They had police registration and compulsory medical check.

This fact of registration scared many foreign women in trouble away and forced them to start business on their own risk being open to all forms of abuse.

I scrutinized somnambular faces of men seeking instant consolation in brothel and thought how they would behave being not controlled by rules,

when woman who wanted to earn for life by selling her genitals would be completely at their mercy?

Fatal defect of manhood was to identify woman with her body parts- making of her the cunt personification. Mechanism of such thinking was simple: woman shows ME her tits and opens for ME her legs, therefore woman wants ME.

Men seemed to be sufferers of their own gender. But they were ready to pay for sexual release- which brought them temporary relief – only because they were forced to.

Sometimes there were two of them, who wanted to split the bill climbing the woman one after the other.

My investigations helped me to realize I was too subtle a person for meat trade practices.

Illusive profits and even illusive physical self-preservation could not surpass deep harmful influence of this activity.

For many women who started selling themselves in conditions of poverty and deprivation,

but continued when situation changed, it was emotional dependency and self-destruction, which they often enjoyed how others enjoy excessive alcoholism and drug using.

They were saved. They did not starve more and could buy new cloths. They could buy many things they were dreaming of.

But in exchange for losing themselves.

And what can be more valuable in this world than preserving your true self?

Galina Toktalieva

Kyrgyzstan-born author residing in Graz, Austria

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